The art of not giving a fuck
I used to suffer from a plethora of self-esteem issues mainly because I was overly concerned about how people would think of me. It doesn’t matter if their judgment of me is positive or negative and every action I take is deliberated to cast myself in a way that is beneficial for me. In many ways, I was very much affected by the opinion of others and how they respond to me would actually determine my own self-worth.
On introspect, it simply shows how self-centered I was as a person back then and at the end of the day, people are more concerned about themselves than with other people. Even if we were to assume otherwise, does it really matter if someone who adds no value our lives have a negative impression of us? Absolutely not. Ultimately, it’s our responsibility for our own happiness, therefore why let other people who have no bearing on our lives dictate our own self-worth? What is important is how we feel about ourselves and we ought to stop pegging our self-worth towards validation from others. Only then, could we be at ease with ourselves.
Other than abiding by my very own set of principles and values in life, the things I do, the actions I take, are purely a result of not caring about how others would think of me. The decisions I make are inherently self-serving and I do things for others because I want to, not because I am obliged to. I speak my mind because I do not believe in concealing the truth. I am not ‘nice’ because I am genuine. I am not an enabler because I do not put on a facade for the sake of nicety. I am polarising because I will never compromise my beliefs for others. I choose people to be part of my life because I want to, not because I need to — and this by itself is a very salient decision of my life.
I am liberated because I am selfish and being selfish means that I place myself first before others, and I am no longer anchored by the voices of others but myself.