Working on myself

In many ways or another, happiness could be such an arbitrary thing.

Some might define happiness as something very intrinsic, something very personal, something very innate. Some might think that making strides in academia would be what constitutes as happiness to them. Some might think that achieving personal goals that are perhaps not so tangible would be their epitome of happiness. Some might think having the ability to spend time with family and living a minimalistic yet fulfilling life would be the very definition of happiness to them.

Yet on the opposite of end of the spectrum, we have some who peg their happiness mostly on the tangibles, purchasing luxury goods, going on costly vacations and often living beyond their means — people which are deeply enthralled into materialism lifetrap in hopes that others would provide them with external validation through their postings in the home of the holier than thou; social media and other forms of showcasing their wealth; conspicuous consumption at its finest.

In the past, I’ve always focused on the tangibles and often neglecting the intangibles and rarely do I focus on self-betterment. My mental finesse or my interpersonal skills were pretty much mediocre at best. But really, having many things never once made me happy because I was reliant on others to prove my self-worth, to provide me with validation based on the things that I have, but never once based on who I actually was; my character. To put it bluntly, I was merely a byproduct of consumerism.

Lately, I have been working on myself, focusing more on the intangibles, partaking in activities which I take pleasure in, doing things that I never once envisioned myself doing and really just putting myself out there and doing all these made me so contented with life because I discover so many quirks about myself that I never once knew about and I love it because I am no longer reliant on others for my own happiness.

I am liberated, because by not being reliant on others for my own happiness, I can finally ascertain that my happiness comes innately and I no longer expect anyone to do things for me. Of course, should others make me happy, it would be the silver lining, but having absolutely no expectations from others makes me be at peace with myself and like the good ol’ aphorism, great expectations comes great disappointment and this will be my one of the key principles in my life from here on out.

Having the ‘me’ first mentality works wonder for my psyche as well because I no longer prioritise others before myself; not necessarily self-centered but rather, simply looking out for myself and when I do things for others, it’s altruistic as opposed to doing deeds in hopes for reciprocation and I would say that I am as genuine as one can be now.

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